The critic
I have this very old voice in my head, let’s call this voice the critic. It constantly scans for evidence from people to validate, “See, you’re not good enough.” And because of this, I am constantly on edge. But it’s important to say that I was not the first person to implant this voice in
Why I can’t afford to fail…..
From very young age, I learned that not being finacial independant is extremely dangerous. I learned this through my mother. Whenever I would ask her why didn’t she just leave my abusive father, she would scold me for even asking it. In her blaring voice, she would remind me that she was just a housewife,
I’m not the same person anymore
When you work on yourself and start understanding yourself. You start to change. The way you see yourself changes. The way you understand what you’ve been through changes. You start unpacking all of the shit. You understand why you think the way you think, why you react the way you react, and why you’ve tolerated
How hurt do you have to be?
How hurt do you have to be to never risk ever being hurt by other people ever again? How hurt do you have to be, to want to uphold something like that? I can tell you from my personal experience. That I don’t want to ever get hurt by people ever again. This is how
Birthdays
My birthdays feel as if people have died on my birthday. But nobody has died. I just carry the pain as if someone had. I don’t have any friends or family members who celebrate me. I can’t remember the last time I felt like I was thought of on my birthday. Like someone was grateful
Would It Have Been Easier If They Were Gone?
Something that my therapist shared with me recently was how, when an adopted child cries, what they’re really crying for is their biological parent. The adoptive parent can hold them, comfort them, and do everything they can to soothe them. But they’re still crying because they’re searching for the person they actually need. They don’t