The weight of a hot chocolate…

I had a really good thing to look forward to…..

I’d finish my appointment, I’d stop by the café just a block away from the appointment, and get myself a hot chocolate.

But not just any hot chocolate—a creamy, fluffy with the perfect sweetness ratio.

I could already imagine how the warm, comforting it’d be. And most importantly it will fill me up.

But I should know myself better, the way I shit on my own experiences…

I was running late to my appointment, and I could feel my pulse rising with every minute lost.

I told myself, “That’s it, I’m not going more” like a sulking child

Suddenly, everything felt ruined.

Even if I stopped by for the hot chocolate, it wouldn’t feel the same.I won’t be able to have it the way I imagine it. I needed to recapture it. I need it to happen exactly how I imagined it.

It derailed me into a spiral which I can only let go of until the new sun rises again

I needed that ease and comfort.

I needed it, I really needed it.