Having Children When You’ve Had a Traumatic Childhood
The idea of having kids when you’ve had a traumatic childhood is complicated. The fear of passing on my own crap to someone else, it feels unfair. Selfish, even. Why should I have a child have to carry around the weight of my unresolved pain? And yeah, I’m 31. Biologically, if I want kids, I
This Isn’t Perfect, But It’s Here
It’s been a while since I’ve posted on here.Work has consumed most of my days, and by night—and on weekends—I’m just trying to recover.There’s been very little space for creativity, for emotionally puking onto these pages like I used to. But here’s what I’ve realised: life is always going to be busy.There will always be
The fig analogy
I was scrolling through Tiktok, and I came across a creator how they want to do so much, but at the end they are afraid that they end up becoming nothing. That hit me. If there was a way to describe all my ambitions and goals…. it would be this… That video led me down
Finding life in the grey
Most days the weather is grey. Everything I look at is grey. Not just the clouds that turns grey, but the entire world. As if the color has drained from life.. But I feel either all black or all white. There is no grey, no middle ground, nothing these two extremes. I just swing between
Rethinking everything
Recently I was shared this by my therapist: “almost everyday last year I wrote the date in my diary” ” it is now the new year and we’re well into the month of Februar and I still sometimes find myself writing the year 2024″ “so when it comes to telling you that you deserved love,
I don’t REALLY mean it, don’t leave me
Ever felt like you’re watching a world you’ve pushed away, but still wish you were part of? I scrolled past a video of my old friends celebrating a birthday. Laughing, smiling—together. And I wasn’t there. And why would I be? I pushed them away, and made it SO hard for them to ever get close
Disney-fication
Happiness is fleetingJoy is fleeting Things will go wrong in your lifeAnd things are going to hurt and upset you But HOPEFULLY you have the ability manage it and take care of yourself
The weight of a hot chocolate…
I had a really good thing to look forward to….. I’d finish my appointment, I’d stop by the café just a block away from the appointment, and get myself a hot chocolate. But not just any hot chocolate—a creamy, fluffy with the perfect sweetness ratio. I could already imagine how the warm, comforting it’d be.
The words they don’t realise that cut deeper than they think…..
“Are you going to your mum’s house?” “Have you just visited your mum’s house?” “Just go talk to your mum, and just stop all this nonsense” “Why don’t you talk to your mum?” “You know it’s wrong to not to talk to your mum.” “They’re your parents, at the end of the day, you should
Just start feeling….
If you’re going through therapy right now, I want you to PAUSE and ask yourself this question: Are your therapy sessions operating at a cognitive level? What I mean by that is—are you just talking about the problem? Analysing it, intellectualising it, putting a temporary bandage over it? And does it feel like you’re actually