Plaster people
I’ve been going to weekly therapy for over 8 months now. And recently I received a missed call from an old friend – the kind of friend you speak to once every few years. This time, though, I felt different during that phone call. Therapy is a challenging process where you start to be more
There is no end destination
Lately, I keep coming across those types of TikToks where people realise they’re doing the same thing every day. The routine. Maybe even working towards their next goal. And then it hits—you realise there is no end destination. Even chasing a goal becomes something that drives you mad, because once you reach it, you’re already
I wish I was tired
The body never really slows down. I’ve been recently been diagnosed with fibromyalgia and PCOS, and I’ve struggled with sleep for as long as I can remember. But it’s not just insomnia. It’s like my body doesn’t know how to rest. I don’t feel tired the way people talk about being tired. I don’t feel
The Weekend That Changed How I See Hospitality
The engagement party I went to the other weekend, my cousin’s, has completely changed how I view the idea of “being hospitable.” In Bangladeshi culture, we pride ourselves on hospitality, especially through food. I grew up hearing this common phrase: a guest should never leave your home with an empty stomach. I always thought this
I need a full heart, not a full stomach
For the past week, I kept going back and forth – should I go, should I not go?To my cousin’s engagement party, that is. My husband told me not to. He just wanted to keep me safe.And even though I’ve been pushing my therapist away lately, I know she would’ve said the same. They both
Sunday Nerves & Rolling Cameras
My new game plan drop the bar. Shoot something – anything – so the camera stops feeling like a threat. I’ve already burned a month obsessing over one idea. Enough. Record, cut, post. Craft and polish can wait. Just start, finish, repeat. It’s Sunday and there’s a dawat tonight. I’m jittery: as my parents (who
Cancelling therapy, work, and racing to death
I cancelled my therapy session for the first time. Lately, it’s felt like the therapist doesn’t really understand me. Most of our sessions get consumed by her talking about our relationship rather than the immediate, things I’m struggling with. She keeps saying, “You’re pushing me away.” I’m tired of hearing it. I’m drowning in work
Trapped Between Paychecks and Purpose
It’s exhausting being in a space where you’re not valued where you’re overlooked. I’m talking about the corporate workplace here. And honestly, even when I am seen or valued at work, it usually just means everyone ends up deferring to me anyway… which isn’t exactly a win. Look, I hate working a 9–5. I hate
Having Children When You’ve Had a Traumatic Childhood
The idea of having kids when you’ve had a traumatic childhood is complicated. The fear of passing on my own crap to someone else, it feels unfair. Selfish, even. Why should I have a child have to carry around the weight of my unresolved pain? And yeah, I’m 31. Biologically, if I want kids, I
This Isn’t Perfect, But It’s Here
It’s been a while since I’ve posted on here.Work has consumed most of my days, and by night—and on weekends—I’m just trying to recover.There’s been very little space for creativity, for emotionally puking onto these pages like I used to. But here’s what I’ve realised: life is always going to be busy.There will always be