Hello, internal panic, and showing up…..

It has been a while since I’ve pencilled something into this blog….

I’ve had some time off. And in that time off, I’ve been contemplating how I find myself cringeworthy. And I go through bouts of internal panic at the fact that I have a site called “Everyone Left”. It feels vulnerable and exposing, that my darkest thoughts are out there online. Although, there is some comfort in knowing that no one really reads these posts.

Speaking of consistency, I was listening to James Clear’s podcast the other day on habits. I loved his book, which I read a long time ago, but it is always good to remind yourself again of his great work. He was talking about how, out of all the people who are successful in building good habits, the ones that succeed are the ones who show up, and there is no perfectionism behind it, because later down the line you can optimise. And I think about this with my journey with the gym, because now I have built the routine of going to the gym three times a week, I can now optimise. Building a routine is the hardest part, but even if I’m showing up in a small way then I am winning. So this is me showing up with this blog post. Later down the line I can optimise… make it look pretty… maybe have real people even read it.

A new routine that I want to follow is showing up to write at least every day for ten minutes at the very least. I don’t need to make it perfect, and I don’t want to run it through ChatGPT to further make it inhuman and remove the errors. I just want to be like this… free typing… and enjoy it, and take off the pressure of being hard on myself.