Month: May 2025
I need a full heart, not a full stomach
For the past week, I kept going back and forth – should I go, should I not go?To my cousin’s engagement party, that is. My husband told me not to. He just wanted to keep me safe.And even though I’ve been pushing my therapist away lately, I know she would’ve said the same. They both
Sunday Nerves & Rolling Cameras
My new game plan drop the bar. Shoot something – anything – so the camera stops feeling like a threat. I’ve already burned a month obsessing over one idea. Enough. Record, cut, post. Craft and polish can wait. Just start, finish, repeat. It’s Sunday and there’s a dawat tonight. I’m jittery: as my parents (who
Cancelling therapy, work, and racing to death
I cancelled my therapy session for the first time. Lately, it’s felt like the therapist doesn’t really understand me. Most of our sessions get consumed by her talking about our relationship rather than the immediate, things I’m struggling with. She keeps saying, “You’re pushing me away.” I’m tired of hearing it. I’m drowning in work
Trapped Between Paychecks and Purpose
It’s exhausting being in a space where you’re not valued where you’re overlooked. I’m talking about the corporate workplace here. And honestly, even when I am seen or valued at work, it usually just means everyone ends up deferring to me anyway… which isn’t exactly a win. Look, I hate working a 9–5. I hate
Having Children When You’ve Had a Traumatic Childhood
The idea of having kids when you’ve had a traumatic childhood is complicated. The fear of passing on my own crap to someone else, it feels unfair. Selfish, even. Why should I have a child have to carry around the weight of my unresolved pain? And yeah, I’m 31. Biologically, if I want kids, I
This Isn’t Perfect, But It’s Here
It’s been a while since I’ve posted on here.Work has consumed most of my days, and by night—and on weekends—I’m just trying to recover.There’s been very little space for creativity, for emotionally puking onto these pages like I used to. But here’s what I’ve realised: life is always going to be busy.There will always be